I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
