I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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