Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
