why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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