i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
