I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
