Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
