but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
