Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
