so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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