god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize