So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
