Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
