cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize