How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize