Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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