Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize