when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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