i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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