He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
