You're so nebulous sometimes
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
