I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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