I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
