I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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