i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
