Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
