apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
