I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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