omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
