id be glad to
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
