question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
