I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
