RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
