Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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