Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize