have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
