How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
