Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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