I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
