Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
