the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
