jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's shark week go big or go home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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