Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
