Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
