You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
