I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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