ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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