Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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