awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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