Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
