she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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