a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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