is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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