He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
