She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
