so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
