So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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