oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
