i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
