so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
