I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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