I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
