I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
