Screwed.edu
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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