I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
