Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
