My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
